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ask-the-teutonic-knights:

the-maple-meme:

the-maple-meme:

denmarkswag:

GUYS

PRUSSIA IS LEFT HANDED

THAT MEANS HE GOT THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF HIM EVEN MORE THAN JUST FOR THE FACT THAT HE WAS ALBINO BECAUSE BEING LEFT HANDED WASN’T VERY WELL ACCEPTED AND IF YOU WE’RE LEFT HANDED IT WAS ALIGNED WITH SATAN OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

IT WAS JUST REALLY REALLY BAD TO BE LEFT HANDED.

NO, BUT IT WAS VERY BAD TO BE LEFT HANDED. LIKE REALLY BAD.

I seriously just wrote an entire paragraph long headcanon about that, then I scroll down my dash a few hours later and find this. Anyway, yeah. People with albinism were viewed as demons or demon children, and people who were left-handed were thought of being evil and associated with Satan because it was uncommon.

This is very symbolic, though, because he was taken in by the Teutonic Order who protected him. Even in the official wiki, it was stated that they protected him. They saw the good in his heart and didn’t want him to get hurt anymore. Plus, he was a child of Germania who somehow made it all the way to Jerusalem, so he was alone. He had no one until the knights came along. They taught him kindness and also how to defend himself. However, he was still a rambunctious trickster. Then again, how many little boys aren’t rambunctious tricksters?

So, in the end, our little Gilbert was treated like trash by most people. He might have even been treated like trash by a few in the Order throughout his youth. Even through all the pain, he tries to be nice to people and reassure himself that he is awesome. If he didn’t… well… imagine how depressing he would be. Remember, those who smile and laugh the most are often the most depressed.

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.


UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

solardrift:

rape-and-pillaging-the-internet:

sexualremarks:

whorville:

Is it true that straight boys eat footballs for breakfast

yeah everyday, the leather makes them feel more secure about their inability to satisfy women

"men don’t ever face sexism."

wow gee i’m sorry that this joke reduced your pay and made you way more at risk of sexual assault because men face sexism

And WHY should you invalidate that you potentially offended someone? I’m sorry but just because they’re male doesn’t mean they can’t be offended by this bull shit.

Equality isn’t spread through hate.

how to track anonymous asks.

killing-our-darlings:

sshubashushu:

So you have your ask.

STEP ONE:
Highlight the word “block”
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STEP TWO:
Right click the word block.
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STEP THREE:
Click “View Selection Source”
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STEP FOUR:
Something like this should pop up:
image

Highlight the “IP” (the blacked out part).
STEP FIVE:
Copy the IP address and paste it to this website:
http://whatismyipaddress.com/ip-lookup
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Paste the IP address into there, press enter or “Lookup IP Address” and all the information should come up. 

Anon u r in trubl

(Source: nhipplez)

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